Once upon a...whaaat???

Every night while we're settling in with Little Miss's last bottle before bed, I tell her a story. She's just had her bath, is all snuggly in PJ's and her favorite blankie, and we sit in the dark living room while she drinks her bottle and drifts off to sleep. My stories usually begin with "There once was a Little Miss, who was Princess of a land called..." and wing it from there. Some of the stories, depending on how tired I am at the moment, make little if any sense and I can imagine my editor cringing from halfway across the country.

Usually though I try to give the stories a moral value, such as "There once was a Little Miss, who was Princess of a land called Giving..." and then talk about how the townspeople always gave each other gifts, until one day, Mr. Greedy came to town, and everyone turned selfish, until Little Miss Princess realized the reason Mr. Greedy was so greedy was because he'd never been given a gift before. So everyone shared their gifts and then he gave them all back out and shared too.

Not bad for an exhausted working mama, huh?? LOL!

Two nights ago, Little Miss fell asleep before I could even tell her what happened in the Land of Chocolate.

Last night, though, Little Miss didn't fall asleep during her story and I could tell she wanted another one. I said "okay, what about Goldlilocks and the Three Bears?" I started it, then stopped mid-sentence. What kind of moral story is that? Stealing? Breaking and entering? A little girl wandering into a stranger's house? Where are her parents? Why does she not know this is bad? Doesn't she understand the danger?

So I said "Okay, let's do Little Red Riding Hood instead." Then froze again. Talk about a terrifying bedtime story. Little girls, dark woods, mean wolves in disguise - as grandma!!! A trusted friend!! Sheesh.

We seriously need a fresh batch of fairy tales. Humpty Dumpty was just depressing. Rock-A-Bye baby, no thanks!!

Why can't nursery rhymes go more like this?

There once was a Little Miss
Who loved to be hugged and kissed
She cleaned up her toys, didn't try to call boys,
and made her parents life pure bliss.

Or..

There once was a little girl
Who loved to spin and twirl
She played all day in her sweet little way
While dressed up in ribbons and curls.

Seriously, Mother Goose. Where's the happiness?

PS - I ended up editing Goldlilocks and the Three Bears to make it child friendly and moral. =)