When hope is lost...

So God's been doing a work in us around here lately, especially me. You're all familiar with our current situation - Hubby having been laid off the fire department December 28th, and we still have no full time job or insurance, now, for that matter. He's working as many hours as he can get at what was his second job, doing ambulance transports. But his time is limited between their scheduling allowance and between all the tests/interviews he's doing while going through the process to get on another local fire dept., and a new career choice he's investigating.

Sunday, to make matters worse, his transmission on his truck broke and left him stranded down the road. My parents had to tow him home, and a friend helped him get to the mechanic yesterday. Not to mention his mom, in the nursing home, is needing more $ for things that we don't have to give.

Money is not running thin, it's running OUT. Yet we haven't missed a bill yet. God is providing in miraculous, creative ways...yet I still struggle. Yesterday was rough. Hubby was sick, Little Miss has had diarrhea diapers for the last 3 days off and on, and I was coming down with a scratchy throat. I was tired. I was running out of hope. I was avoiding paying the bills because I didn't want to see our meager checking account drain. While I know that His timing is perfect, and I have nothing to fear, I felt insecure. Yesterday was a down day. I posted on Facebook that I needed a miracle. We were in bad shape, financially, emotionally, physically - I cried almost all day. I was just DONE. Ever been there?

I couldn't pray without crying. I couldn't talk to my parents without crying. I just dragged around, taking care of my daughter and forcing my husband to go to the doctor to get a shot and medicine even though we can't afford to pay the doctor bill when it comes in...and cried some more. Everything was piling up in my head, and in my heart, and while I knew that God had come through time and time again, a little tiny part of me was scared He would stop. I felt that we'd already received so many blessings, why should He give us ANOTHER miracle? He's already used so many amazing people and circumstances in our lives to make ends meet lately, why should He do it AGAIN when other people continue to suffer? It didn't seem fair. I don't deserve special treatment. So while part of me trusted He'd provide again, the other part of me, the part listening to the devil instead of to my Lord, said He might not.

I've been reading through the New Testament this year, and I read in Mark the other day about the man who needed Jesus to heal his daughter. When Jesus questioned his faith, the man's words were "I believe, help my unbelief." He had faith. But he knew he needed more. So that was my prayer all day long yesterday. "I believe, Lord. Help my unbelief."

Then the phone rang. It was my dad, telling me my grandma was right there and wanted to talk to me. I put on my happy voice. "Hey Mammaw".

"How you doing honey?"

"We're hanging in there." My voice is cracking by now.

"I understand there's a black cloud of doom over your house lately."

Tight throat. "Yes ma'am."

"Well, honey, your grandfather and I are sending you a check."

I bawled like a baby. God came through. Again. Despite my doubts, despite my fear. I still don't deserve it. But I accept it. I accept His timing. His provision. What I love is that this check we're getting is big. It's going to help us get by another month or so...but it's not enough for everything. Not enough for bills AND the truck repair AND the pending doctor bill. And I know that's on purpose. Because God isn't through shaping my faith yet.

But today I know that Jesus is enough. And He'll provide next time.

I won't question again.

Black and Gold Monday

Black and gold, baby!!

You know I couldn't pass up posting on the win, especially since I was almost alone in my Saints-fan-ism like time I checked here!! hehe.

There is something so romantic about the underdog coming through at the end! I love stories like that, and even more so of course when it's my home team =) I hopw Saints fans and non fans alike will agree that they deserved it. They came a long way, played hard, and made history in more ways than one!!

It was nice to hear that all of the official predications before the game had the Colts winning, but not by that much. At least people believed in us to some degree all along...

Now, their tune has somewhat changed! ::grin:: And they don't have a choice. Gotta love proof.

Who all watched the game? It was SO GOOD! And not just because we won, but because it was just simply interesting. Blow out games are nice sometimes but I like the more intense action, the back and forth, the "agggghhhhh" moments! There were plenty of those!!

I have to admit, one of my favorite moments of the game was text messaging some smack talk to my good friend and Colts-fan. Her response? "Wait! What I'd miss? I was eating a cream puff."

This pic just gets me every time!

What was your favorite commercial? The baby ones had me cracking up!! And the Clydesdale/steer was sweet. All the Dorito ones were hilarious. What was your fav?

PS - sign up at Lena Nelson Dooley's blog HERE to win a signed, autographed copy of A VALENTINE'S WISH!! =) Also, see what Kara with White Roses in Bloom are saying about A Valentine's Wish HERE, and read Deb Ullricks sweet review HERE!

Sign up to win!!

Lena Nelson Dooley interviewed me on her blog today! You can check out the interview and sign up to win a free autographed copy of A VALENTINE'S WISH, HERE! The drawing is being held in a week. Tell your friends!

Love is in the air...

So this weekend, Hubby and I are off to a local marriage conference hosted by a big church in town, that is actually being taught by the creators of FIREPROOF. Pretty cool, huh? I'm excited. I haven't done the Love Dare challenge but I have seen the movie and read about all the various books and products out there, and think this is a really good thing. Hey, it will be nice just to get out of the house for awhile and away from our current issues and focus soley on each other for a few hours!!

My dad pointed out to me not long ago that he's proud of us, because we're dealing so well with some of the hardest issues a marriage could ever face. Not only are we dealing with them all at once, but also early on in our marriage. We celebrated five years last August, and literally in the past 6 months have experienced severe, tragic illness in the family (hubby's mom), career changes (my quitting work and later, hubby's lay-off), extreme financial burdens (again, the lay off and his mother's expenses), and putting a loved one in a nursing home. (his mother)

I'm glad that, despite arguments and sometimes taking our anger out on each other, we've stuck together through these trials instead of turning on one another. I know it seems during these times in life, it could go either extreme, and we are so blessed that God has kept us cemented. It's all him! We are far from perfect. I'm glad for this conference to further "fireproof" us for whatever else comes our way.

And just in time for Valentine's Day! =)

What are you thankful for today regarding your spouse or significant other? Let's show some love!! =)

PS - check out where I visited Erica's blog today at ON THE WRITE PATH and discover my top five most romantic date ideas!

NEVER SAY NEVER by Lisa Wingate

This week, the
Christian Fiction Blog Alliance
is introducing
Never Say Never
Bethany House (February 1, 2010)
by
Lisa Wingate

ABOUT THE AUTHOR:

Lisa lives in central Texas were she is a popular inspriational speaker, magazine columnist, and national bestselling author of several books. Her novel, Tending Roses, received dozens of five-star reviews, sold out thirteen printings for New York publisher, Penguin Putnam, and went on to become a national bestselling book. Tending Roses was a selection of the Readers Club of America, and is currently in its fourteenth printing. The Tending Roses series continued with Good Hope Road, the Language of Sycamores, Drenched in Light, and A Thousand Voices. In 2003, Lisa's Texas Hill Country series began with Texas Cooking, and continued with Lone Star Cafe', which was awarded a gold metal by RT Bookclub magazine and was hailed by Publisher's Weekly as "A charmingly nostalgic treat." The series concluded with Over the Moon at the Big Lizard Diner. Lisa is now working on a new set of small-town Texas novels for Bethany House Publishers. The series debuted with Talk of the Town and continued with Word Gets Around and Never Say Never. A new series is also underway for Peguin Group NAL, beginning with A Month of Summer (July 2008), and continuing with The Summer Kitchen (July 2009) and Beyond Summer (July 2010). Lisa's works have been featured by the National Reader's Club of America, AOL Book Pics, Doubleday Book Club, the Literary Guild, American Profiles and have been chosen for the LORIES best Published Fiction Award. In 2009, A Month of Summer was nomiated for the American Christian Fiction Writers Book of the Year award.

ABOUT THE BOOK:

Kai Miller floats through life like driftwood tossed by waves. She's never put down roots in any one place--and she doesn't plan to. But when a chaotic hurricane evacuation lands her in Daily, Texas, she begins to think twice about her wayfaring existence. And when she meets hometown-boy Kemp Eldridge, she can almost picture settling down in Daily--until she discovers he may be promised to someone else. Daily has always been a place of refuge for those the winds blows in, but for Kai, it looks like it will be just another place to leave behind. Then again, Daily always has a few surprises in store--especially when Aunt Donetta has cooked up a scheme.

If you would like to read the first chapter of Never Say Never, go HERE

Buy the book HERE!!

I haven't had the chance to read this one yet, but it's coming up in my TO BE READ pile and I can't wait! I love Lisa's books, her first two in this series were just so hilarious and inspiring and warm and witty. She's one of my favorite authors, and I can be assured this read will be as wonderful as the last. You can trust that same guarantee!! So if you're not yet a fan of Lisa's, you are missing out, my friend...Remedy that today!! =)