Tuesday, June 29, 2010

What are you waiting for?

What are you waiting for?

We're still waiting on a full time job for my husband. I'm waiting for my mother in law to be healed and have any sort of function of life again. I'm waiting for the chance to be able to be a stay at home mommy and full time writer again. A good friend of mine is waiting on God to bring him the right woman into his life to settle down with. Another friend of mine is waiting on a longtime writing dream to be fulfilled. Another friend of mine is waiting to get pregnant.

What are you waiting for?
Sometimes, God's timing doesn't make sense. In our human-ness, we think, why would God NOT want my mother in law to be healed? Why would He NOT want my husband to have a full time job and insurance that provides for our family? Why would He NOT want a good guy to meet a good girl? Why would He NOT want to give us the fulfillment of dreams He bred in our hearts?
I've reached a conclusion after months of searching, hoping, praying, crying, and trying to figure out logically the reasons why.
Ready? Here it is...my big reveal...
God is God.
And I am not.
That's the bottom line. He knows best. He sees all. He knows the whole story. I'm still stuck on one page. He's already written The End. He knows exactly how many chapters I have, and what those chapters contain. He knows why I don't need what I want right now. No matter how pure or noble the motivation behind a lot of my dreams/goals/desires might be to me, He still is in charge and knows ultimately what is for my best. To me, best is for my mother in law to be healed. Best is for my family to not stress over how to pay our bills each month. And I do believe, really, truly believe deep in my heart that this all temporary. The tide will change, it will get better, and probably soon. I just have to keep trusting and waiting and hoping and praying and crying because that's where the lessons are. That's where I see God's power best - when I'm weak. I do have days where it overwhelms me, and I ask God if He even cares anymore - but even then I know better as I say it. This has been a chapter of extreme growth. And I'm hoping that its to prepare me for a task that lies ahead. There is absolutely no way to know what God has planned for our future and how He can/will use the struggles in our lives for our good and His glory.
Just know that when it feels like He's not here, not listening, and doesn't care anymore... that's when He's the closest.
So pour your heart out to him and don't give up. "The effectual, fervent prayers of a righteous man availeth much." James 5:16
What are you waiting for?


Tonya said...

I've been waiting for a lot of similar things as you, Betsy.
Been waiting two years for my dad to get a job and insurance.
Healing from my circulatory/nuerological illness.
The endurance and energy to pursue a writing career.
a loved one to come back to the Lord.
Then,last week my grandpa fell and broke his hip so it's been a lot of work with my mom trying to help with him and take care of my grandmother with dementia.

Laura J said...

I needed to read this today. Thanks for sharing.

Georgiana said...

Great thoughts! There is a lot of growth in the crying and praying--and a lot of discovering who God really is. I've learned things this past year I wouldn't otherwise have known about the bigness of God. On the other hand, I have two deeply rooted desires that have become like pebbles in my shoe. I should blog on that =P