Monday, July 13, 2009

Confession time

This incident keeps coming up between me and my husband lately, and I feel led to to confess. So, here it comes. A top secret, most embarassing newlywed confession. Prepare to be shocked. Prepare to point and laugh. Prepare to even gag, possibly.

You have been warned.
In the first 6 months we were married, back in 2004, I decided one night that I - a woman whose culinary skills never exceeded a peanut butter and jelly sandwich - was going to make my hard working hubby homemade soup.

That's right, I was Super Wifey. How hard could it be?

I bought vegetables. I bought hamburger meat. I found our wedding gift crock pot. I put on my proverbial apron and thought, oh yes. This will be great. Julia Childs' family will be begging for the recipe. Betty Crocker ain't go nothing on me. Those reality TV chefs don't know what they're talkin' about. I AM COOK. HEAR ME STIR!

I poured water in the crockpot. I dumped in (canned) veggies. And I added hamburger meat and some salt and pepper. Then set the timer for 8 hours so it'd be ready after work.

Yes, I confess. That's all I did, and I expected excellent results. The best homemade soup EVER.

Disappointment is a part of marriage, is it not??!!

Needless to say, I came home from work to boiling veggie water with floating chunks of gray meat. NO, I didn't add a soup base like Campbells Cream of Chicken. NO, I didn't brown the hamburger meat first so it'd be nice and brown. I figured it'd cook in the crockpot. And it did. In floating gray masses.

I just looked at it and then stirred it, like that was going to help. Hubby poured a bowl (bless his heart) and took a bite of the gray meat veggie water. And promptly asked for the Tony's Spice seasoning. I was mad at myself for failing, mad at hubby for even trying to eat it, mad at my mom not teaching me how to cook (she tried, its not her fault) and mad at the rest of the world just in general. Hubby choked down lumps of the soup, after adding so much Tony's seasoning that the gray meat veggie water basically became gray meat veggie SALT water.

He didn't ask for seconds.

So, my friends, family and faithful readers, that is my newlywed confession. I served my husband salt water and gray meat for dinner. We've been cracking up over that lately as I've been branching out in my cooking and actually being succesful at new recipes.

Please, please PLEASE tell me you've done the same???? =)
And somewhere, Julia Childs rolls in her grave.


Georgiana said...

Well, at least you tried! Now you have time to read the recipes, then branch out with cool new signature dishes ;)

Erica Vetsch said...

LOL, what a sweet husband to choke that down just to try to keep from hurting your feelings!

My culinary disasters are too numerous to name.

The recipe that stumps me completely? Jello...that's right, I can't make Jello.

I either end up with a rubber tire of thick goo on the bottom of the dish (didn't stir long enough for the jello to dissolve) or it never sets up at all.

I even tried adding fruit a couple of times. Too soon and it all goes to the bottom to lie on the rubber tire layer, or I wait too long and the fruit just bounces off the top of the somehow miraculously set up jello.

W Weido said...

It's okay Betsy...I have to say that I experienced the same results more times than not. My ex was the one who'd cook or we just made sandwiches. I was a better (still am) baker of cakes, brownies, cookies.

Now that I'm a single mom, I don't cook much (Thanks go to my mom who feeds me and my daughter nightly); but when I do, I make sure I have trusty recipe and follow it down to the last teaspoon.

Trial and error is a good way to learn; frequent tastings always a great measure for the cook!

Cortni Marrazzo said...

I've had my fair share of those types of meals (and my husband's had his fair share of them too). I must admit there have been some evenings where tears and fast food have been involved after the incident! :)

Anonymous said...

hi Betsy, first of all you have a very cute and adorable daughter.

secondly, please go online to check for soup recipes. im clueless in the kitchen myself but i realized there's help - online! =)

third of all, im not married yet but i've been teased by my boyfriend about cooking so YEAH, I LEARNED. You go girl! You can make it!

love and cheers,

Carmen7351 said...

I made my hubbie a casserole his mother always made. Simple. Brown the hamberger. Cook small spaghettie noodles. No problem. Add together in a skillet and add tomato juice, salt and pepper and simmer. I'd had it at her house. Great. WELLLLLL... When I learned to cook, you salted the meat when frying it. You salted the water for cooking the noodles. Know where this going??? So I did it the way I learned. Added them all together with the tomato juice, salt and pepper. Yup!!! A bowl of SALTY, SALTY, SALTY hotdish my hubbie wouldn't eat! His favorite from home! I learned not to use the salt beforehand, and now it takes great. So you're not the only one!

Lori said...

I did tell you I blew up a microwave by trying to cook frozen meatballs in it, didn't I? No? Must've slipped my mind.