Friday, March 16, 2007
Kickboxing, Calories & Dreams...
Persistence... A rather long word. But sometimes, it feels like it should have only four letters =)That was going through my mind last night during my kickboxing class.
I got to the gym early and spent a few minutes running on the treadmill to warm up, already regretting the fact that I skipped class last week. I knew once I got started in there, I'd feel the pain ten times worse than if I hadn't missed a class. So there I am, jogging on the treadmill, seriously debating whether or not to just go home and forget it. I was having a bad day - felt incredibly sleepy, already sore from my workout two days before, and overall - ladies, you'll get this - just having a "fat day"! The thought of going in that classroom already tired and unmotivated made me just want to go home and eat. Or truly, stop at Old Navy first, spend money I didn't have, and THEN go home and eat!
But for some reason, I didn't. Maybe my discipline showed up. Maybe I was just operating on auto pilt. Who knows? Regardless, I got off the treadmill, walked into class, helped set up the bags and mats, and dove right in.
Our instructor plays loud music during the 30-60 second intervals of various moves, which I have to admit, does wonders to keep our energy up. She'll demonstrate a move, say go, turn on the music, and make us do that one move steadily, for as fast and hard as we can, for the full time slot - usually a minute. Then its immediately off to the next instruction.
So I punched and chopped and kicked and spun and did the best I could, sweat dripping in my face, shoulders trembling, hands sore, but determined not to stop. Determined to prove I could do it, even though I missed last week and felt like laying down on the mats and taking a nap. I kept at it. Earned myself a few compliments from the teacher. And actually found myself doing better on some of the harder kicks than ever before.
At the end of the hour, exhausted, dripping, and shaking uncontrollably, I felt - GOOD. Really good! I didn't give up. I gave myself a great work-out, and women - there's no better way to beat a "fat day" then to move your rear in the gym!
I drove home thinking, what if I had given up before I ever started and went home? I'd have sat on the couch, watched reruns on t.v., ate something not-so-healthy for dinner, and regretted it afterward. How much fun would that have been?? Instead, I did what I knew I needed to do, I kept myself accountable to my class and instructor, and even enjoyed myself along the way.
The parallel hit home. These past few weeks have been very trying regarding various aspects of my writing. I've gotten a few negative, although helpful, comments on my novel. I've gotten multiple rejection letters from agents. I've fought doubts and Satan's lies of "I'm not good enough. I can't do this. I'm a terrible writer!" It's an exhausting battle yet... if I give up, how much fun will that be? None! I'll feel worse afterward, just as if I would have had I gone home to binge-eat intead of disciplining myself to attend class!
Sometimes we feel like giving up. Sometimes we think "this isn't what I signed up for". Sometimes we think "I'm not good enough". Sometimes we think "this is too hard" or "I'm too tired" or "I'm just not capable!" These thoughts are normal, for writers or any other people out there with goals and dreams. But normal doesn't mean right. Just because everyone has these thoughts doesn't make them true or correct! They're LIES. If God has called you to something, it's your job to DO IT. Regardless of the guarantee. Regardless of the pain and effort and energy spent.
If we want to accomplish our goals of being fit and healthy, we have to burn away calories, exercise our muscles and control our eating habits. In the same way, if we want to be accomplish our dreams, we have to burn away the fear, exercise our talents, and control our doubts! Sure, it's hard. But it's worth it. And the best part is - we're not doing it alone.
Jesus is right there, jogging beside you, wiping your forehead with a towel, and whispering "You can do this. I've already provided you with everything you need. Just...keep...going..."