You know the saying, when it rains it pours?
Enter Hurricane, stage left.
This week, my entire family has been sick in some form. Then we hear rumors of layoffs in the city where my husband is employed as a fireman. Yesterday, the rumors were confirmed and my husband was given unofficial notice that he wouldn't have a job by the holidays, possibly sooner. And oh yeah, about thirty minutes before we got that news, my pregnant sister's car was stolen from downtown.
I'll be honest, this is scary. Times are bad if a fireman who has been on the line for almost two years is being laid off for a city budget crisis. Not just him, by the way - 38 fireman total, 26 policemen, and a few other city-related positions. Not to mention the firemen who aren't being laid off will likely be demoted, which means decrease in pay. It's absolutely unreal, especially coming from a city that was thought to be well-off and doing great financially. Hundreds of families will be affected, maybe more. Completely unfair.
It's easy to be mad. And really easy for my writer's brain to think of creative ways for revenge. And even easier to yell and scream and cry and panic and ask God what are we gonna do.
But I'm surprisingly at peace, and I think that's because God is holding me in the eye of the storm.
Logically, it makes no sense to be calm. I quit my job back in July to stay home with my daughter, and my husband's second job income is not nearly enough to make a dent in our bills and monthly expenses. We have truck repairs we've already committed to paying. We have a nearly maxed out credit card we were hoping to pay off by the holidays through overtime shifts. That's out the window. We have minimal savings, and no way to pay for daycare for me to go back to work even if we wanted me to. (which we don't, as of now)
But thankfully, my God isn't ruled by logic. So though the wind howls, the trees bend, and the rain pours, I'm going to stay calm. Because I want my faith to be stronger than my fear. I would rather jump out in the waves with Peter and let God walk me across the top of them, safe and dry, than cower in the boat with the others.
I'm not going to fear. I've got a GREAT umbrella. =)