Monday, June 16, 2008

"If I Only Had a Brain..."

I'm gleaning material. Lots and lots of material. The problem is, any future books I write with pregnant characters are probably going to get rejected for lack of realism. Unfortunately, my preggo mistakes are all too realistic!!

For example:

In the past three months I've: walked straight into the men's room in a very crowded restaurant (yes, there were witnesses, and yes I'm still an unnatural shade of red), informed my friend that there was potato in onion rings, gone the wrong way down a one-way street downtown, almost ran over an innocent pedestrian trying to walk into Barnes & Noble (she came out of NOWHERE!) searched online for an hour for the name of a cologne that didn't exist (long, long story - I think my mom and sister are STILL laughing at me) tripped over my own flip-flops, and bumped into so many doorframes that I keep continual bruises. I'm sure there is more, but I forget. (which is also something I do regularly!)

You've gotta laugh, right? I mean, what else can you do? (other than break down into hysterical sobs, but I've done that too and laughing is much better!) =)

I'm thinking my daughter is going to be a genius. Otherwise, where are all my brain cells going?? Regardless, I can certainly relate to the poor scarecrow in The Wizard Of Oz.

I would not be just a nuffin'
My head all full of stuffin'
My heart all full of pain
I would dance and be merry
Life would be a ding-a-derry...
If I only had a brain!

What's been really fun is seeing how being pregnant relates to my writing. My crit buds stay super busy fixing more typos than usual (sometimes now I just leave out words altogether in the middle of a sentence!) yet, surprisingly, I've been more productive than usual. I guess since I don't necessarily write EVERY day, (a girl's gotta rest sometimes, you know!) the time I DO spend writing during the week or on weekends is very productive. I guess it all balances out in the end. (whew)

Okay, so dish. Any funny preggo stories from your own experiences? Share here! (and share the embarassment, PLEASE!) =)


Lori said...

I have (so far this time around):
-accidentally referred to myself in the plural (in public!)
-driven thirty minutes to deliver a meal to a friend, only realizing when I got there that I forgot to bring the meal.
-locked my keys in the car
-almost stolen a brownie from an anonymous first-grader. (long story... it was a desperate moment.)
-and I have accidentally gone to the grocery store in clothes that didn't even remotely match because they were the most comfortable.
Yeah, there are a ton more, I'm sure, but like you, Bets, I forget...

P.S. I'm still looking for those potatoes in the onion rings. hehe

Georgiana said...

Oh, I wish I had a funny story to share, I really do! Nothing comes to mind, except getting stuck in the restroom at the county fair. Nothing to do with a brain, only my size.

jamie in rose cottage said...

I don't remember specifics, just that "pregnant brain" lasts beyond the actual pregnancy, so be prepared!

Catherine West said...

When I was rather obviously pregnant with my son, my daughter and I were standing in line at a mall, waiting to see Mickey and Minnie. She was around three at the time and liked to 'pet' the baby - well, we're in this huge line, and she's talking away to her baby then turns around in a very loud voice and announces to the entire mall, "My mommy's FAT!!"

Gina Conroy said...

Seems like forever and a day since I was pregnant, though it was six or I guess almost seven years ago since my baby just turned six.