Have you ever just known deep in your heart that God was trying to teach you a lesson? And you weren't sure what it was, exactly, just that He was definitely working on SOMEthing in your life?
The youth pastor at my old church used to say that sometimes God gets our attention with a feather...and other times, has to resort to the good ol' 4x4.
This weekend I think He chose to use the wood!
It started out innocently enough. I started adding blonde highlights to my hair back in high school. Eventually, I became an "all over" blonde and that suited me fine for awhile. My hair color is naturally a dark brown with a lot of red mixed in. It took people a while to get used to the blonde, but it all worked out.
I've changed since then (as has my budget!) so I decided it was time to go back to a good ol' brown. It's a more mature look for me and is closer to my natural color, so it seemed to be the best bet. I went to my usual hair dresser and he gave me what he calls "low lights" and covered up the blonde.
I LOVED it!! It was a new look, but subtle, and was just "me" again.
Well, the color didn't stick well, because less than two weeks later, the blonde highlights (now grown out, so I had roots as well!) were popping back through and it looked pretty bad.
So I went back last Thursday evening. My hairdresser graciously agreed to redo it for free, since it hadn't even been a month. I was appreciative, and he colored it brown again.
This time, it's a DARK brown. Very dark brown. It was a change - not as drastic as black would have been, but definitely a noticeable change. My hairdresser assured me it would lighten some in a week or so, but that he had to do it this dark at first in order to make it stick this time. That was all fine and well with me. Whatever works!
Hubby loved the color, and so did I. That's all that matters, right? Well here's where I think the lesson comes in...
I didn't get the reaction I wanted. All weekend, I've seen several friends and even friend's family (it has been a very busy weekend!) and everyone said "oh, look, you colored your hair!" I'd smile and nod and then...silence. No compliments. No "oh, that looks nice!" After a long pause, I'd receive "I'll have to get used to that" and "I didn't even recognize you" and "It'll lighten up, don't worry".
That's a surefire way to knock a girl down!
So all weekend, while at a crawfish party, at the lake, at a friend's house, at a pool party, etc, I was paranoid. I was taking every little look and comment WAY too seriously. It almost ruined my whole weekend. I kept thinking I had to call my hairdresser back ASAP Monday and demand that he give me some lighter brown streaks to compensate. I became obsessed!
Then I realized something this morning when I woke up.
There are starving children in Africa, but STOP THE PRESSES, my hair is a slightly different shade of brown then I wanted!! I was digusted with myself. I confessed to God my selfishness and vanity and felt pretty ashamed. Afterward, when I looked in the mirror, I couldn't help but my smile. My hair was pretty. It was the perfect shade of brown, fit for a Daughter of the King. I truly like it now. It seems I needed a heart change more than a color job.
There are several lessons to be learned here:
1. The world is a much bigger place than just the top of my head!
2. Caring SO much about what your peers or even friends/family think of you is a surefire way of becoming obsessed with yourself. Nothing good can come from that!
3. Change is sometimes hard to adapt to, but usually worth it in the end.
4. Beauty is in the inside - and when you fully grasp the fact that what you look like in the mirror doesn't matter compared to the content of your heart, then you'll see a significant different on the outside. The peace and contentment of a heart right with God shines through the face and radiates with the love of Christ - yes, even through the hair! =)